Participants:

Cenn_icon.gif Davan_icon.gif

Scene Title Damn The Consequences
Synopsis Cenn and Davan have a talk under the stars/
Location Sundermount-Base
Date 11 Kingsway, 9:31 Dragon
Watch For Confessions
Logger Davan

Thankfully, the ride up to the Sundermount had been mostly uneventful. And with Cenn and Davan riding, it is not all that long of a trip. Sure enough, the last of the summer heat is holding, probably just for this last week, and thus the weather is mild and pleasant as Cenn leads up to a particular clearing on the moutainside. It's not high on the mountain, everyone knew that the farther you went up Sundermount, the more trouble you were asking for, but it is pleasant nevertheless. An outcropping surrounded by trees to each side, a cliff face looking away from the city, a goodly amount of grass. But the real spectacular thing is that here, away from the lights of the city, higher in elevation, and in the nighttime quiet, the stars are bright and beautiful. Twin moons hanging low in the sky. And Cenn stops, dismounting and hitching his horse to a nearby tree. "Hopefully the quiet is worth the trip."

Davan dismounts, giving a hint of a laugh. "The trip was worth the trip." He answers as he makes sure his horse is securely hitched. "The quiet…" He looks up without finishing the sentence. "This is beautiful. I hadn't really paid attention with all the light… This makes it worth stopping the trip."

The basket is untied from the saddlebags then, and Cenn moves more properly into the clearing with a smile. "Well, good." He says, taking the first blanket from the basket and laying it out over the ground. And then he returns to his horse, taking a box from a saddlebag. The box is likely very familiar, one of Carys' chocolate boxes. "So long as it's been worth it." And then he settles on the blanket, and rather than patting the place beside him, he's reaching out toward Davan much more affectionately.

Davan turns a look on Cenn. "you were worth it." He points out before reaching into the basket to pull out a bottle that looks like it may be purely decorative except for the liquid inside it. "Liddy insisted. It's the last of the brandy. At least for now." He takes hold of the offered hand and sits. "Apparently we're big boys and can make do with the bottle." Which he's going to place on the blanket within easy reach.

"I think we'll manage." Cenn says with a small laugh, leaning to press a kiss to Davan's lips that lingers. And this close, it seems he did more than pick up chocolates on his trip out. There's a cologne touched to his neck, clove and amber, warm and sharp. Likely meant to cut some of the sweetness Davan keeps claiming exists.

Davan returns the kiss, letting it draw out and running his fingers into Cenn's hair. Once it ends, he leans in to catch that scent, stopping short of nuzzling the Templar's neck. "I'm sure we will. I haven't drunk directly from the bottle since before I left for Kirkwall."

Cenn purrs quietly, pressing a kiss to Davan's temple. Then, though, he sits up more properly, taking the box in his lap and placing it between them, open. Sure enough, chocolates. Whether all of these are liquor filled or not is up for debate. This was a rather assorted box. "It tends to be how I drink most frequently." Cenn admits with a small laugh, reaching for the bottle, and taking a small pull, and offering to Davan after.

Davan reaches out for the bottle and shakes his head. "Seems a poor way to measure the amount." He warns as he takes his own pull and then places the bottle down again. "Leads to hangovers and questionable life choices. You should be careful." Of course he's teasing, there's a grin he's trying very hard to hide to go along with it.

Cenn shakes his head. "Liquor is not what I need to be careful with." He says with a softness in his voice, though that grin Davan isn't quite hiding pulls a smile to his lips that is absolutely besotted. He pauses then, looking at Davan with fondness. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Oh? Finally willing to believe I'm a danger?" Davan teases, leaning enough to growl near Cenn's ear. There's a hint of surprise as he rights himself. "You think that?" And really, he's heard it as empty words so often that it's hard to process.

There's a shiver at that growl, but Cenn is still smiling. "Only the very enjoyable kind of danger, mon amour." He sends back, and then nods, reaching to trace the line of Davan's jaw. "Maker, of course I do. How could I not?" He says, sounding surprised by this doubt, "Do you not think it true, mon canard?"

"Well, I know I'm handsome. I couldn't have caused the uproar that I did without the looks to lure them in. I've heard it before. No one has ever sounded like they actually meant the way you do." Davan tips his head regarding Cenn and giving a hint of a smile. "When you say it, amatus, I believe it. Careful, I'll want to hear you speak like that all the time."

"Then I will speak such each time you wish it." Cenn says, gentle still, the hand on Davan's jaw moving to lay against his cheek, thumb ghosting over the curve of his cheekbone. "We are not measured in the mistakes we have made, but how we choose to address them." He says then, quiet, as though picking up the conversation from before was as easy as breath. "Sometimes, we are raised with beliefs and practices that are wrong. We cannot change that, we can only change the men that we choose to be when we learn they are wrong. And I think who you have chosen to be is beautiful."

Davan turns into the touch, closing his eyes briefly. "Thank you," he finally says, and it covers more than just the end statement. It's been a burden on his shoulders since before he left home, and it's more than just a relief that Cenn would say those words. "If you're the only person who ever thinks that, it's enough." Of course, he's had reassurances, but this one matters more than he'd like to think about.

There's a swell in Cenn's chest as Davan moves into his hand, and his brow knits just a little with affection. There's a pause then, where Cenn is silent, just looking at Davan. Their silence is filled with night birds and sound of water overhead, a brook from the mountain somewhere higher up. "Davan…" He says, practically whispering, like his name is the word of some long lost, beautiful part of the Chant, "May I be immensely stupid for just one minute?"

Davan tips his head to look at Cenn, watching him for a handful seconds before answering. "With me? Whenever you like." He replies and he's making no effort to keep the fondness from his tone. He reaches out, filling the space that's filled with waiting on this supposed stupidity with brushing his fingers through the Templar's hair. "As immensely as you like."

"I was trying, for awhile, to live with a heart that no longer worked." Cenn says, no louder than before, though his hand moves from Davan's face to wrap around his waist. "But I was wrong. It works, though whether it always did, I do not know." He moves into that touch in his hair, blushing just a little. "And it has always been a thing quick to make decisions, and I had forgotten. It had been eight years since it had to make a decision like this…" He pauses, shaking just a little, because he can't quite help the fear that's come along with this, "But it's decided to love you, and I can sit here and try and fight it, but I know my mind has never been strong as my heart."

Davan takes in a sharp breath. "Me." He states as if that's somehow going to help him grasp what's been said a little better. He stays silent, brushing his fingers through Cenn's hair as he finds his voice again. "I… I was afraid of this. Of hearing that from you. I'm a man who lives in denial, and as long as you kept that to yourself…" He shakes his head. "I could keep from thinking about how easy it was to fall in love with you. Does it have to be stupidity? Or as damned frightening as it seems?"

For a moment, Cenn just stares at Davan. "I am sorry… I shouldn't have…" And then his brain catches up to his ears and his better judgement catches up to his mouth. His mouth goes dry, and he swallows hard, throat working visibly. "I don't know." He answers then. "It's not the love that is frightening, it's… Everything around it." Cenn sighs, easing again into that touch to his hair. There were so many more things to say, but Cenn stays quiet then.

"Yes, everything around it." Davan agrees as if the mere thought is overwhelming. "All of the potentials that I tried so hard not to think about." He sighs, resting his head on Cenn's shoulder. "Well, I doubt the answer is 'lock ourselves in my house and hide from all of the scary things'. It's never that easy." He'd love for it to be that easy just once.

"No, it isn't." Cenn says, pulling Davan nearer then, his hip resting on the back of his lover's hip, so his arm can leaned against should Davan choose to. "But you deserve to know something…" He says then, more serious, which may not have seemed possible a moment before. "If we're… If you… This conversation means I have things to tell you."

Davan leans against that arm, apparently willing to take all of the contact he can get. "This is going to be one of those conversations, isn't it? Where you tell me something I don't want to hear." There's already dread in his voice but he nods. "Alright. Whatever it is, it can't be impossible. I hope." Except, now that he's said it, he's not so sure.

Cenn takes a deep breath, but he is so glad for that lean, that contact. "I don't know if you know much about what happened at the Circle of Kinloch during the Blight…" He starts, "But it was… A mess. Demons everywhere, blood magic, the Knight Commanders called for the Anullment of the Circle. I… Tried to save the man I loved." He's just going to cut to the chase, it seems, "I… Failed in that. I died. And a Spirit of Hope took pity on me, but she… She's still with me, keeping me alive. But it probably means, with how draining it is, and with the Lyrium that I take for the Order… I probably only have five years or so…"

"We heard rumors." Davan admits as if it will keep him from having to deal with the rest of it. "Five." The word is heavy and final and he reaches out for the bottle to take a drink as if that would wash the taste of it from his mouth. "Spirits I can take, but this…" He holds the bottle up in offer. "You're not going to stop the lyrium, even I'm not ignorant enough to ask you that. Is it definite? You're certain of this?" He gives a brief, bitter laugh. "Well, I did tell myself you'd break my heart. Why do you have to be so fucking creative with it?"

Before he answers, Cenn takes that bottle, and he drinks like he's dying of thirst. Then, though, he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "Maker, I wish I could stop, honestly. I've seen what it does, now. They don't… They don't tell us, they keep the older members of the Order away from the recruits." Cenn sighs, "If I knew what Lyrium withdrawal would do to Hope, but I don't… And honestly, no, I'm not certain. None of this is certain. I didn't even know this could happen until it did. But based on what I'm experiencing, the rate the deterioration has increased… I'm guessing. It could be three years, I could very wrong, it could be ten. But I will be shocked if I see thirty-five, and if I think seeing forty is right out." He sighs again, looking away. "I'm sorry. I didn't ever mean for this to hurt you…"

Davan growls. "And they call us the monsters." He reaches up, putting a hand on Cenn's cheek to direct his gaze back. "You're going to let me research this. I'm going to find a way. Damnit… I don't like to lose and I'm not going to lose you easily. I'm not going to think of it every second that I have with you, I promise." He nods, attempting a smile. "Of course you didn't. I promised you I wouldn't go back to speak to that healer, but you can. Will you ask him if he can do anything? If nothing else, to slow it down." Finally, he lets out a long sigh. "Don't be sorry. If you'd died there I wouldn't have fallen in love with you."

See, that growling? It doesn't really matter how serious the discussion they're having is, it doesn't fail to make Cenn shiver pleasantly. "You are welcome to do what research you want, I won't stop you." Cenn says, and then nods, "I will talk to Anders. I don't… I don't know how much he will want to see of me, but I will see." And then, there's that and Cenn is… "But you know, now. And this can be talk for a time when I don't have you out here with all of these stars." Cenn says softly, his free hand coming to cup Davan's cheek. And he's looking distinctly at Davan now, not the sky above them. "I love you. Consequences be damned."

Davan turns into that touch and finally the smile he gives is genuine again. "I'm never going to get tired of that." He warns before moving just enough for a kiss that's soft to start, and then there's the flavor of that brandy and the need to forget the turn their conversation had taken and he forgets that he'd intended to keep it brief. Who knew that getting lost in Lowtown would end up being the best mistake of his life?

As it turns out, Cenn isn't going to complain about that kiss lingering. In fact, he smiles lightly through it, and his hand lifts to lace into Davan's hair, not holding at all, just present. And he leans, just a little, toward Davan, encouraging him down onto the blanket, but not breaking that kiss.

Davan doesn't need much encouragement, even if they are out in the open. Suddenly, it's the world's most wonderful idea, laying here on a blanket and kissing this man. Even the parts of his mind conditioned to yell at him that this is a bad idea have shut up. It's starting to feel suspiciously like happiness, but he can think about that part later.

Cenn's not one for audiences, really. In fact, if this were some corner of the city, he'd probably refuse outright. But this? This is the middle of nowhere, and Cenn does not care. He might not be able to go out shopping with Davan, or accompany him to dinner parties or shout anything from the rooftops, but what he could give, he would. And what he could give were romantic, adventurous evenings out in the wild. So he kisses him, and the thing that started out tender grows more fevered, until Cenn is purring against Davan's mouth only to break away to trail heated kisses along his lover's jaw.


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