Participants:

Cenn_icon.gif Seren_icon.gif

Scene Title Hope, Peace, Lullabies
Synopsis Seren requests an audience with Hope
Location Mage Wing, Circle of Magi
Date 17 August, 9:31 Dragon
Watch For Spirit of Cuteness
Logger Seren

Seren sent a message, because if there's one person Revas knows how to find, It's Cenn. He's had the bird watch over the Templar often enough (she's also still fascinated by all that short hair). So now, with the request sent, Seren is settled on the floor of his room, leaned back against the wall and drinking tea with the door open. Sometimes it's just nice to remind the powers that be that he hasn't been locked in just yet (even if that's part of the general idea of letting him have this space).

Cenn's become used to the nightwing's presence. He'll chat at her whenever she comes to visit. And when she shows up with a message, Cenn actually isn't terribly long in responding. He smells vaguely like brandy, but he seems to be well enough emotionally. Perhaps a little surprising. Down the hall he goes, and finding Seren's door open, he steps inside and then leans against the doorframe. "You wanted to see me?" Cenn says, though his voice is warm and he's smiling faintly.

Seren takes a moment to take in all the outward signals and smiles. "Good," he says mostly to himself and then nods. "I did. If you don't mind coming in? It's an awkward question and, Garou aside, I don't know how many you want to overhear. You can sit on the bed, I'm comfortable enough on the floor. Don't worry. You may smell of alcohol but you're smiling, I'm not going to tie you down this time," he teases. "You have my word."

"The brandy was under supervision, I swear." Cenn says with a laugh, "You can blame Garou for it, at that." Stepping away from the wall, he goes the door with a glance to see if he should close it. If so, he does so, and then moves to the bed, settling nearest Seren and looking down at the mage. "I'll answer awkward questions if you'll accept awkward answers."

Seren laughs, and it's a warmer sound than has come from him in a very long time. "Cenn, I was Keeper's first AND a father. Do you know how many awkward conversations I've had?" He nods at the closing of the door and then turns to watch the Templar for a few seconds. "This is good. …because my look after list has suddenly grown." It's said as an aside and then, in typical fashion, he gets right to the point. "I wanted to know if you would mind my contacting Hope again. I know, it's an intrusion, but I…" He sighs. "Don't yell at me for this. Our newest resident is lost. She lacks a connection that she can't regain. I have to explore all of the possibilities." He stops for a second and then chuckles. "And I'd ask anyway, since I think I like this Hope of yours."

There is a moment where Cenn looks at Seren in a way that is… Odd. It's not uncomfortable, or prying, or even overt, but it's different. Probably the brandy talking for a moment. At the question, Cenn laughs, shaking his head. "Maker, Seren, I was going to ask you to look after Macenaya as it was…" He says, "And it's not as though I hate Hope. Yes, if you wish to speak to her, you may."

"Apparently it's what I do. Look after the lost. Soon I won't have to look after you at all, hmm?" Seren smiles, shaking his head. "I suppose it's not a bad thing. It's what a healer wants, after all. You don't need to worry. I'll look after her and help in any way I can. Which is why I wish to speak to your Hope. I've only recently become re-acquainted with her kind, and I think I see a way out of the darkness for Macenaya, but I need to make certain first. It won't resolve her grief, but it may give her hope enough, no matter what she chooses. Ma serannas, I know it's probably a very personal thing I ask."

There's a sad sort of look then, but it is appreciative. "You really have to stop sounding like him…" Cenn says with a laugh that is real even if small and thick with grief. None the less, he nods. "You could ask me for a lot more than this in the name of helping her and I would provide it without hesitation." He says simply. "I can allow her to speak, if you would wish to do this now?"

"It's no inconvenience to offer comfort to another's grief," Seren repeats. "And it requires no payment. …I really am not doing it on purpose." But look, he's not apologizing for it. It's a huge step. "Yes, if it's not going to be in inconvenience, I'd like that. I have to admit, I regretted that my contact with her had to be so brief. Of course, somehow we managed to make you blush and sleep so it wasn't a complete loss, hmm?"

At that, Cenn blushes again. "I suppose you could say that." He says with a small smile. But he shakes free of that feeling, and nods then. "Alright… It's a little… Strange so… Bear with me?" He says, before taking a deep breath and leaning forward slightly. A hazy white-blue glow begins around his edges, almost though he is blurring and softening from the very world. It grows, and becomes light, and it spreads over his body in spidering webbing cracks like a piece of pottery put back together. The pale blue of his eyes brightens, and then is consumed by the same light. A moment beyond that, and with a palpable hum of energy in the air, though it is Cenn's face that turns toward Seren, it is not him that is looking through those eyes. There's a smile, bright and childlike. "Aneth ara." Says a voice that is friendly and bright, but otherworldy, overlaid over Cenn's own that is little more than a whisper.

Seren can't help the chuckle that comes at the greeting. "Aneth ara, Hope," he greets. "It's nice to finally speak with you." At least he's used to seeing spirits, if not interacting with them on a regular basis. "I know it's probably an imposition, but I wanted to ask you something about the way you exist with Cenn. Because I know you've seen his hurt. I wanted to know if I could ask you questions?"

"Suuuure." Hope responds, pulling out the vowel in childlike playfulness. Slipping from the bed, she slides onto the floor, and puts her head unceremoniously into Seren's lap, looking up at him with a smile that this face likely hasn't worn since it was ten. "Ask away, I will answer if I can."

Seren chuckles and reaches out to brush his hand over that short hair. "Alright. I wanted to know if you ever… interfered with his grief. Kept him from things that might hurt him? Or kept him from harming himself? You don't have to answer, but it might help someone else who is in a great deal of pain from loss." And seriously, that expression. He's going to remember that FOREVER.

For a moment, Hope considers. "Yes, and no." Hope answers, shrugging. "I have given him advice. Tries to talk him out of things. I have not forced. I tried to sooth him when…" The Spirit frowns then, and shakes her head, "The only thing he has asked me to interfere in, I was not able to help. His lover had been dead too long." It's strange, that adult phrase coming from a voice that is youthful and bright.

Seren nods, trying to put together the pieces and avoid the things that might be too personal- something you learn when living in a clan with very little real privacy. "But you've been present, let him feel your presence when things were…" He looks for the correct way to phrase what he wants to ask. "..were beyond his ability to live with? Even if you didn't directly interfere? Made him feel less alone?"

"Yes. I have tried. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it does not." Hope says softly, and nods. "You want me to talk to her?" She blinks once, and cants her head.

"I think it might help," Seren answers. "At the very least, she can make her decisions with more than just her pain. If that can be accomplished, then… Well, then I won't have to worry about them. She is in great need of hope, I think." But he smiles, ruffling Cenn's hair fondly. "Thank you. For offering, for talking to me." And no, he'll never admit to having ruffled the Templar's hair.

Hope nods. "Alright, I will see what I can do. Maybe in her dreams I can help." She says, "It's been nice talking to you." And in another moment of childish playfulness, she reaches up to tap the tip of Seren's nose. And then the light fades, suddenly, leaving the Templar in control of his body again. Still in Seren's lap.

Seren laughs, ruffling the Templar's hair again, though that's meant for Hope's presence and- sorry Cenn- taps the man's nose as well. Of course, then the light's gone and he's just waiting for the awkwardness of THIS particular situation to set in. With humor, because he's been in way more awkward situations than this over the course of his life.

Perhaps surprisingly, Cenn isn't actually shocked by coming back to this. "She's adorable, no?" Cenn says with a laugh, and notably does not get off of Seren's lap. Because he's got a cheeky grin to give the elf, and ankles to cross, and fingers to lace as he rests his hands over his stomach.

"She is," Seren answers, still combing his fingers through Cenn's hair. "Thank you. I think I needed to talk to her as much as I needed to ask her help. I promise I didn't pry much, but you may know that anyway, yes? I don't know how much the two of you share. It's much different than the Seers of Rivain. The spirits they work with are generally right there in front of them."

"It's… Strange, the memories when she speaks. They're fractureed and hazy, like time doesn't exist in them and I have to piece all of the information together when I get it all at once." Cenn says, still not moving. If Seren's going to pet his hair, he's going to learn that Cenn, deep down inside, there's a giant cat that is perfectly content to lay and be pet. "I do not really care if you pry."

"I don't think time really exists for them. It doesn't seem to exist when I heal," Seren admits, still absently toying with the Templar's hair. "I asked her if she… if she shared her presence when the pain was worst for you. It's very important to understand how this relationship works if I'm going to do anything to help Macenaya. She told me," he admits, still trying to cushion his words. "That you've only asked her to interfere once. You should probably know that. It's not something I'll address with you again," he promises. "Do you feel her? When the hurt weighs down on you? If it's too much for me to ask, don't answer."

"Yes, but sometimes I am… Angry with her." Cenn admits. "I earned the death that I received in Kinloch, and she decided I should live. It's not fair, but sometimes it makes me upset." Relaxing some, Cenn closes his eyes, focusing on the hand in his hair. It's a quick way to ease him, always has been. Blame his mother. "And yes, I have asked once. When I found Rylan's body, I wanted her to leave me and go to him, but he was too far gone." He explains. It seems he actually doesn't mind the prying, though his tone is sad through it, but it doesn't seem as though he's actually in danger of falling apart. For once.

"I can understand that," Seren admits. "Still… I'm glad she decided otherwise. It can be painful and lonely sometimes to live simply because others need you, but she made the right choice." He hasn't stopped playing his fingers through Cenn's hair yet, and it might be just as familiar and comforting to him. "And now I see you smile, you laugh more. One day you won't even need me threatening you for your own good."

"I realized a few things when I actually had the time to sit down and think about the things that I had said to Macenaya." Cenn says softly, "I am sure she had very good reason… It's just… I explained this to Garou earlier. I think this world is a beautiful place with a lot of wonderful things in it, and a lot of good people… I just, I don't know how to live in it anymore."

Seren is silent for a few seconds, apparently content with that as he thinks over those words. "I wish I could tell you how to do that. For me it's obligation. It seems that you lot have worked your way into my need to take care of others," he points out, with no small amount of fondness. "Yet, when my list of obligations is done…" He shakes his head. "But you? I think you can learn to live in this world again. It's hard, becoming something else when your knowledge of how to do that is gone, but you can. You did it when you were a baby becoming a child or a child becoming a man, this isn't much different. It just seems to hurt more because you thought you had time before the next change."

"Seren, I don't think I have the kind of time for that." Cenn says, shaking his head a little, but not enough to dislodge Seren's hand, "I want to do as much good as I can in the time that I have but… I would be really shocked if I see thirty."

Seren looks confused. "Why would you say this?" And really, the statement seems to trouble him a great deal. "Cenn… Has something happened that would make you think this? If so, please tell me. I'll do what I can, but you deserve to live." Even as troubled as he sounds, he never stops the soothing motion of his fingers in Cenn's hair. "And if you really think that, then you will simply have to learn faster."

"Lyrium is hard on the body." Cenn answers quietly, "And a denizen of the Fade… Present with no Veil between us… It's not easy either. I haven't felt my age since I first woke up. This borrowed time won't last forever. Before it kills me, or twists her or… I might be a little pessimistic, perhaps. I do think forty is right out, though."

"Could she … move? Take another host? I know it's probably hard to think of parting with her. I'd …I don't know if I could in your position. It would be like parting with a child." Which Seren has done and it SUCKED. "And if there is nothing that can be done, then you must live while you have it. It's that or you give up the lyrium and stop being a Templar- if that's even possible at this point. Just know that if there's something that can be done, I'll do it. You should live. You should be allowed to live."

Cenn shakes his head again. "If she leaves me, I will die. It is her presence that keeps me alive." He says, adding weight to what he had asked Hope to do that first day. "I could stop the lyrium, leave the Order, but I don't know what lyrium withdrawal would do to her, and it's a terrible way to go. I… Have a way out if I really want it but… I know I'm not the best Templar. I am… Bad, in a lot of ways. I'm really not sound enough to be a good Templar, but with how bad I've seen some be…" He sighs, and shifts onto his side. It's presumptive, keeping his head in Seren's lap like this, but… Well… He feels like he can breathe and that's not all that common these days.

Seren lets out a long sigh. "Cenn, listen to me. We're all bad in a lot of ways. You're good in the ways that matter. …and yes, for those reasons, we need you to live, but I'm a very selfish man. I want you to live." He's not going to complain about the presence of Cenn's head on his lap, just as he's not going to move while he's there. "Well, I suppose I won't be done trying to find ways to help you after all. You know, you're making my plan of trying to leave this place once my obligations are done a hard one to stick to."

Ah, see, that's dangerous. Laying there with his head in Seren's lap, hand in his hair, eyes closed, with words like that… There's a nostalgia that makes Cenn's chest ache. "Thank you." He says quietly, and swallows hard before giving a laugh thick with the nostalgia he's not going to mention. "Yes, I am sorry about getting in the way of your plans…"

Seren shakes his head. "You don't have to thank me or apologize. It's not a hardship to stay alive so that another can live." He chuckles, but it's a soft sound that doesn't do much to disturb the quiet. "It's worth it to stay in this place for that. Even if I do have to threaten you from time to time."

"Is… It not?" Cenn says, looking up at Seren with his brow knitting. "Perhaps you're more altruistic than I am." Nevertheless, that last comment does make him smile. "Threats only work for so long before you'll have to show you'll follow through." He teases, though the way his smile twists into a smirk says he's entirely amused.

"Not really, I've seen too much for that. When it's worth it, then it's not a hardship," Seren answers, then chuckles. "Cenn, I have long since learned that threats are promises that you will one day keep. Remember this when I tell you to look after yourself." He gives a playful tug on the hair he's been stroking. "I was Keeper's first, remember? I know the value of a threat only rests in the willingness to follow through on it."

That tug at his hair gets a grin from the Templar. "Oh, I know." He says, "You're not the first that's had to make threats at me for my own sake." There's a laugh then, and it's not even bitter or sad. Then, though, he takes a deep breath. "But I should get back… I have evening patrol and the armor takes awhile."

Seren nods. "Remember that you can come here anytime you need? I was honest in my offer. Whatever it takes for you to find peace. Even if it's to sit here like this and talk about the rain that draws you here." He runs his fingers through Cenn's hair one more time. "Even if you have to wake me or it's before the sun rises." After all, he's shown himself to be awake even at that forsaken hour.

Cenn's just beginning to will himself to rise when Seren speaks. Very, very familiar words come tumbling out from a voice that doesn't match them in his mind. The Templar blinks and gives Seren a look. "The rain that… Are you quoting a lullaby, perchance?"

Seren chuckles, nodding. "I used to sing it to my daughter. My mother picked it up from somewhere. A merchant she used to visit, I think. It was what I would tell Serala when she couldn't really tell me what bothered her. You've heard it?" He hums a small catch of the song and then shakes his head. "I haven't really sung it in a long time."

Laughing quietly, Cenn nods. "My mother used to sing it to me when I was young. I am not sure where she learned it…" He says, and then actually does pull himself to sitting. "Our Estate was haunted. It was… Well, I heard the song a lot in my youth."

"I admit, I heard it a lot. I had a fear of thunder as a child." See that look? Yeah, Seren has embarrassing things to relate. "Careful. If you come visit me in the middle of the night you might hear it again. Old habits," He warns.

"I will be sure to be prepared for that." Cenn says with a nod. Interesting, where things crossed cultural lines and travelled far and wide. A noblewoman singing to her child in Orlais, and another easing a Dalish child in Rivain… So little in common, save a melody and a few lines. It was a profound thing to him, at least, and it makes him smile easily. "Have a good day Seren, would you like me to leave the door open?" He says, rising and moving for the door, and to leave. He was serious about that patrol.

Seren nods. "Leave it open," he answers, standing. "It's easier to tell that I'm not up to escape plots. I hope your patrol is incredibly boring aside from the walk. Let me know if you need more of the tea to help you sleep. You shouldn't take too much, but a little here and there won't hurt."


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